While Travelling by the Mumbai local trains.....ALWAYS REMEMBER....

{through email}
1)Never iron your shirt if you intend to travel during peak hours.The packed train shall do the needful.

2)Thou shall buy a first class pass only if your company is paying for it.

3)Else thou should be really rich with an annual income of atleast Rs.10 lakhs travelling by first class. Otherwise is a public crime.

4)Before getting off at a station always make sure to ask the person ahead of you, "Uterega Kya?" This way you shall not feel left out.

5)If you happen to be one of those few gazillion, who travel by train during peak hours, on a regular basis, do not spend money on gymnasiums or health instructors. You will realize how effortlessly and in an innovative manner, one can practice yoga while travelling.

6)If you have already started practicing this innovative yoga, see to it that it remains within the confinements of the train compartment. Try these steps anywhere else and you'll soon get yourself locked up in a mental asylum.

7)Always push the person standing ahead of you. It is amusing when the person ahead of you does not use a single word against you.

8)In case you happen to sweat or if your nose starts twitching, rub the desired body part on the clothes of the person standing closest to you. Your hands are gonna be of no use to you at that time.

9)Make sure you are the tallest among those standing around you. It affects you less when others have to bear the smell of your armpits.

10)Avoid travelling in slippers or sandals. It is an accepted fact that someone always climbs on to your foot.

Local Kylie Monogue - VJ Sophie

Ladies and the gentlemen presenting before you, our very own Indian Kylie Minogue - MTV VJ and POP artist SOPHIE!>.

She has just released her latest Album, sorry I couldnt see the name on TV due to my rotating eyes. But the video seems to be of a song titled - KOI PARDESI MERA DIL LE GAYA , Remix of a oldies.

Sophie is the greated watchable POP material. Now you don't need to outsource Negar Khan in your videos, now the singer herself can appear in her very own chaddhis in the video. The neckline runs so deep, that I wonder that many people during the actual shoot might have been witness to the WMD pop-up.

Who says you have to put Soul into the music, you need to put your body into the music.

And last but not the least, Sophie makes such cute symbolic suggestion of "Dil" (Heart) in the song that my neighborhood kid asks me, "Why do girls have two DIL/Hearts and boys have none."? No Answer....

Shaadi Se Pehle - Shaadi ke Baad

1) My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
- Henny Youngman

2) My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

3) A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Milton Berle

4) I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- George Burns

5) I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor."

I asked her , "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
- Henny Youngman


6) Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller


7 )The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman


8) After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when married you."

The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


9) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

10) I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

11) My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

12) A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

13) Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, You wish you had ordered that.

14) Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

15) A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

16) Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

17) Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

18) A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : "You can have mine."

19) A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.

"A billionaire." she replied,

20) The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

21) A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said," Dad!

I've found a woman just like mother"

His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"

22) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

23) Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

24) Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

25) If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

26) I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

27) It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

28) Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it as almost impossible.

29) A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman - and then, BAM!, it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out..."

30) Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

31) I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father,I can say anything I want to around the house.

Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

32) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

33) A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

34) Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

35) How do most men define marriage?

An expensive way to get your laundry done free.

36) The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

(Recieved thru Email : Not my original work)

Contribution of Chaddhi in Indian Music

Contribution of Chaddhi in Indian Music.



( Ever wondered why Talvin Singhs, Trilok Gurtus, Karuneshs, Buddha Bars, Vangelis, Chemical Brothers, Yannis, Khayyams, Pt. Ravi Shankars, Jakir Hussains, don’t show up much on Channel Vs and MTVs. ‘Cos they don’t wear Pads and definitely not any chaddhi’s, hence they don’t mean music. )



Chaddhi is such a integral part of our Indian music scenario today, but nobody seems to understand the importance and contribution of chaddhi in Indian Music Today.

Chaddhi, The Intergral Part.
There can be a Music Video without R.D Burman remixed but there cannot be music video without the chaddhi. Chaddhi in music is part of our great heritage and culture. In good old days we had Saria banos, Zeenat Amans, Dimples, Rekhas in musical chaddhis. I don’t know what my dad or uncle felt about them, since it was once in a while affair. You had to go to a cinema hall to see a chaddhi now its on TV.


The Dominating Southern Chaddhi
But now MTV, Channel V, CMM, Zee Music, ETC, Southern Spice and all other channels have brought chaddhis to our home. Chaddhi has become more accessible and more acceptable. And there is so much variety now if you can switch a channel and you can see chaddhis from different parts of India. But South India surely has domination in chaddhi arena, bcos they are more content oriented. Our Kanta Laga girl or Biapasha basu can never beat a Ramya or Rambha in chaddhis. That’s why the south rules in Music, afterall from where does A. R. Rehman gets his inspiration?. Shilpa Shetty is so dedicated to chaddhi, that she mostly does Musical Chaddhi Appearances in all her movies and in between sometimes does a role in a movie. She is so hot in chaddhi that sometimes when South feels short of chaddhi they just remember one name, that’s Shilpa.

The Outourcing of Chaddhi & Music Industry
We have now started outsourcing chaddhis in Indian Music Mega Albums, also know as Movies sometimes. Negar Khan leads the chaddhi bandwagon with her “Ek Choti Si Chaddhi”. Then there is a premium chaddhi in our music items called as Yana Gupta, My God I feel somebody has made chaddhi just because it can be wore by Yana Gupta.

Chaddhi and the Reality Shows
I don’t know why MTV, Channel V and Zee Music are so hypocrite. They are all lauching some reality show based on chaddhi and giving funny names like Item Bomb and something like that. Chaddhi is related to peace, beauty and world peace and not to some god damn bombs. Now all the deserving and talented young girls from Mumbai to Muzaffarpur will get a chance to dance in chaddhi on national television and make every there parents proud. Hey look at that girl dancing in a chaddhi, who meri beti hai. Jara Bhi nahi badli hai , kal bhi wohi chaddhi pehenti thi aaj bhi dekho wohi chaddhi pehene hui hai. Chaddhi Chaddhi pe likha hai pahenanewali ka naam.

Chaddhi & Sensorship
Mr. Anupam Kher is against chaddhification of Music Video , he says it creates bad impression on small town peoples and children. Dude relax, haven’t you read my post about “unity in chaddhi of India”. Chaddhi is generating so much employment of talented girls. Has Mr. Anupam Kher ever complained about Salman’s & Sanju’s obscene exposure, has he ever asked Sunny & Suniel Shetty why do they have to go sleeveless everytime there is a action scene. Even Mr. Hairy Indian Anil Kapur has exposed his back and chest so many times, but nobody asked any questions.

But one sweet innocent girls dances in a chaddhi and it becomes a national debate on we the chaddhi, sorry “We The People”. Indian Society is full of Male Chauvenists. Girls I am with you if Sallu can wear chaddhi so why can’t you ?

Chaddhi & The Music Promotion
Chaddhi is the biggest promoter of Indian Music. Can you think of any music video recently which didn’t feature chaddhi?. No you can’t it such a integral part of Music Videos these days. Tell Mr. Kher its so hard to sell anything without chaddhi these days, didn’t his ‘Om Jai jagdish’ flopped because it didn’t had any great music with chaddhi?. Even great Yash Raj Banner which had music of maestros like Khayyam & Pandit Duos now have to produce movies with ‘Babuji Jara Dhire Chalo, Yaha Mai Chaddhi Me Khadi’. You remove chaddhi from music videos and there will be nothing in the music videos. No Women , No Chaddhi , No Music as great late Mr. Bob Marley had said.

The Competiton from Western Chaddhis.
And who has the answer for imported musical chaddhis? How can we compete with britney spears , Madonna, janet Jackson , Shakira , Christina Agal-Bagal-Gyarah and so many WMDs in chaddhis. We love Indian music and we want Indian chaddhis.




And last but not the least, this article is dedicated to great Mr. Ram Gopal Varma who is father or chaddhification. Right from the Rangeela days he has been promoting musical chaddhis. He has given so many Chaddhi girls to these industry Urmila Matondkar, Antara Mali, Sameera Reddy, Koena Mitra and so many others who will make a ‘Chaddhi Appearance’ in his item songs.

Long live Indian Music & Long live the chaddhi in the Indian Music.!!!