Bhaji on the beach & Bhajans in the local trains

Day before yesterday or so shiv-sena made all of us Hindus proud by chanting bhajans inside the Mumbai local trains in protest to some god damn rule by railway police. If somebody can’t even express his religious feeling in this country, then how can it be world’s largest democracy?. Moreover, the Indian Railway says that it is National Property – Rashtriya Sampatti and what not.

Muslims can perform Namaz anywhere then why cannot Hindus do the same?. I really wonder why Christians go to church every Sunday and not utilize the vastly available public property that also anyday, including weekdays. And don’t ask about the totally unsocializing nature of Parsis in this country, come on its your religion for god sakes and you have to display it on streets. How come we then say, Hindu Muslim Sikh Isaai Apas Mai Hai Bhai-Bhai. When we dont know about each other religions.

In this busy metropolitan life we don’t have the time to go to our religion , religion has to come to us. See that’s why bhajans in the trains are so important. It will keep in touch with out religion. There are so many different types of people traveling inside the train somebody coming from office, somebody going to office, somebody going to collect the dead body of a relative in the hospital, somebody carrying office tension to home, somebody carrying home tensions to office, somebody day dreaming and somebody crying dry from the soul. Just imagine if there is some bhajan going on won’t it solace and comfort all these people?, tell me, tell me.

And I really like these Bhajan Mandalis they are really the example of Unity in diversity of India. A live example :

(1) Somebody saying arey bhenc**** aaj kaka nathi awya? (In Englis : Oh SisterF****) has uncle not come today. OR AAiJ****** barobar bas ki, majhi g*** dabli ahe. (In Englis : Mother***** sit properly my b*** have squeezed)

(2) Then these party usually begins with so and so God ki jai, apne apne father mother ki jai, apne-apne guruo ki jai and train chalanewale ki jai. See they remember to thank the train driver who has the most thankless job in this world.

(3) Then the singing of bhajans begins in high-pitched melodious voices by some kaka . You will have to appreciate the creativity also, the members come with the photos of gods which are compatible with the local train windows, then they are well equipped with manjiras, garlands and prasad. Some god gifted talented people start beating the compartment patras in such heavy Mumbai trance beats that trilok gurtu and safri brother would die of shame without a single bang. The entire atmosphere turns very holy , peaceful and divine.

(4) Then as the last stop is near the bhajan mandali winds up closing with prasad distribution ceremony and the highlight is everybody takes it and shares with another person next to him. It doesn’t matter if the person his hindu, muslim or whatever, it doesn’t matter if that person has not bathed from 10 days, it doesn’t matter if that persons hand are swetting like shit or has a dash of residue after nose pricking or crotch scratching. Remember Shabana Ajmi had said in one Ad, “Chune Se Disease Nahi Badhati Hai, Isase to pyar bhadhta hai. Disease doesn’t spread by touch, the touch spreads only one thing that’s LOVE.

After the bhajan is over these tired people drink some water. (Thoda sa paani piya yad rab ko kiya, bhook bhi mit gayi aur pyas bhi bhuj gayi). Some shaukin people take out Manikchand, Moolchand, Goa, Shimla, etc (the local tobacco brand and not some stupid use and throw MNC’s Click tobacco pouch) and put these swadeshi delights in their mouth. In between they spit it so that people can learn.
* Stupid tobacco is not tasty, see that red-red watery powder vomit like thing, it goes their stomach.
* If these people wont spit gutka from the window, the lazy department would never clean the train compartments.
* Other indirect advantage can be that people won’t fight for the window seat.

Sometime I get so emotional that wan’t to touch the feets of these people in awe and respect. Lord Shivji is called NeelKanth – BlueThroat ‘cos he held the poison in his throat to save us. These people can be called GutkhaKanths – they hold tobacco in their throats. But the western culture is so heavy on my mind that I am taken aback.

Then these people are in mood to get down and now don’t talk of religion further but in general life, like:
- Aye Bhen**** aa chokri na B*** jo ( in Englis : Oh Sister****** look at that girls b***s)
- Kai Kaka path dukhat ahe ka ? jara shot kami mara. (In Englis : hey uncle your back is paining ? why don’t you screw less in the night)

And other small small things in life.

People don’t be narcissist and disallow people from expressing their feelings.

Freedom of Expression is everybody’s birthright and they shall have it. And whoever tries to stop this will have to KISS MY CHADDHI.

Long live the religion inside the trains.

Michael Moore Tells Mr. Bush "Kiss My Chaddhi"

August 26, 2004

It Takes Real Courage to Desert Your Post and Then Attack a Wounded Vet

Dear Mr. Bush,

I know you and I have had our differences in the past, and I realize I am the one who started this whole mess about "who did what" during Vietnam when I brought up that "deserter" nonsense back in January. But I have to hand it to you on what you have uncovered about John Kerry and his record in Vietnam. Kerry has tried to pass himself off as a war hero, but thanks to you and your friends, we now know the truth.

First of all, thank you for pointing out to all of us that Mr. Kerry was never struck by a BULLET. It was only SHRAPNEL that entered his body! I did not know that! Hell, what's the big deal about a bunch of large, sharp, metal shards ripping open your flesh? That happens to all of us! In my opinion, if you want a purple heart, you'd better be hit by a bullet -- with your name on it!

Secondly, thank you for sending Bob Dole out there and letting us know that Mr. Kerry, though wounded three times, actually "never spilled blood." When you are in the debates with Kerry, turn to him and say, "Dammit, Mr. Kerry, next time you want a purple heart, you better spill some American red blood! And I don't mean a few specks like those on O.J.'s socks -- we want to see a good pint or two of blood for each medal. In fact, I would have preferred that you had bled profusely, a big geyser of blood spewing out of your neck or something!" Then throw this one at him: "Senator Kerry, over 58,000 brave Americans gave their lives in Vietnam -- but YOU didn't. You only got WOUNDED! What do you have to say for yourself???" Lay that one on him and he won't know what to do.

And thanks, also, Mr. Bush, for exposing the fact that Mr. Kerry might have actually WOUNDED HIMSELF in order to get those shiny medals. Of course he did! How could the Viet Cong have hit him -- he was on a SWIFT boat! He was going too fast to be hit by enemy fire. He tried to blow himself up three different times just so he could go home and run for president someday. It's all so easy to see, now, what he was up to.

What would we do without you, Mr. Bush? Criticize you as we might, when it comes to pointing out other men's military records, there is no one who can touch your prowess. In 2000, you let out the rumor that your opponent John McCain might be "nuts" from the 5 years he spent in a POW camp. Then, in the 2002 elections, your team compared triple-amputee Sen. Max Cleland to Osama bin Laden, and that cost him the election. And now you are having the same impact on war hero John Kerry. Since you (oops, I mean "The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth!") started running those ads, Kerry's poll numbers have dropped (with veterans, he has lost 18 points in the last few weeks).

Some people have said "Who are you, Mr. Bush, to attack these brave men considering you yourself have never seen combat -- in fact, you actively sought to avoid it." What your critics fail to understand is that even though your dad got you into a unit that would never be sent to Vietnam -- and even though you didn't show up for Guard duty for at least a year -- at least you were still IN FAVOR of the Vietnam War! Cowards like Clinton felt it was more important to be consistent (he opposed the war, thus he refused to go) than to be patriotic and two-faced.

The reason that I think you know so much about other men's war wounds is because, during your time in the Texas Air National Guard, you suffered so many of them yourself. Consider the paper cut you received on September 22, 1972, while stationed in Alabama, working on a Senate campaign for your dad's friend (when you were supposed to be on the Guard base). A campaign brochure appeared from nowhere, ambushing your right index finger, and blood trickled out onto your brand new argyle sweater.

Then there was the incident with the Crazy Glue when your fraternity brothers visited you one weekend at the base and glued your lips together while you were "passed out." Though initially considered "friendly fire," it was later ruled that you suffered severe post traumatic stress disorder from the assault and required certain medicinal attention -- which, it seems, was provided by those same fraternity brethren.

But nothing matched your heroism when, on July 2, 1969, you sustained a massive head injury when enemy combatants from another Guard unit dropped a keg of Coors on your head during a reconnaissance mission at a nearby all-girls college. Fortunately, the cool, smooth fluids that poured out of the keg were exactly what was needed to revive you.

That you never got a purple heart for any of these incidents is a shame. I can fully appreciate your anger at Senator Kerry for the three he received. I mean, Kerry was a man of privilege, he could have gotten out just like you. Instead, he thinks he's going to gain points with the American people bragging about how he was getting shot at every day in the Mekong Delta. Ha! Is that the best he can do? Hell, I hear gunfire every night outside my apartment window! If he thinks he is going to impress anyone with the fact that he volunteered to go when he could have spent the Vietnam years on the family yacht, he should think again. That only shows how stupid he was! True-blue Americans want a president who knows how to pull strings and work the system and get away with doing as little work as possible!

So, to make it up to you, I have written some new ads you can use on TV. People will soon tire of the swift boat veterans and you are going to need some fresh, punchier material. Feel free to use any of these:

ANNOUNCER: "When the bullets were flying all around him in Vietnam, what did John Kerry do? He said he leaned over the boat and 'pulled a man out of the river.' But, as we all know, men don't live in the river -- fish do. John Kerry knows how to tell a big fish tale. What he won't tell you is that when the enemy was shooting at him, he ducked. Do you want a president who will duck? Vote Bush."

ANNOUNCER: "Mr. Kerry's biggest supporter, Sen. Max Cleland, claims to have lost two legs and an arm in Vietnam. But he still has one arm! How did that happen? One word: Cowardice. When duty called, he was unwilling to give his last limb. Is that the type of selfishness you want hanging out in the White House? We think not. Vote for the man who would be willing to give America his right frontal lobe. Vote Bush."

Hope these help, Mr. Bush. And remember, when the American death toll in Iraq hits 1,000 during the Republican convention, be sure to question whether those who died really did indeed "die" -- or were they just trying to get their faces on CNN's nightly tribute to fallen heroes? The sixteen who've died so far this week were probably working hand in hand with the Kerry campaign to ruin your good time in New York. Stay consistent, sir, and always, ALWAYS question the veracity of anyone who risks his or her life for this country. It's the least that person deserves.

Yours,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. George, I know you said you don't read the newspaper, but USA Today has given me credentials to the Republican convention to write a guest column each day next week (Tues.-Fri.). If you don't want to read it, you and I will be in the same building so maybe I could come by and read it to you? Lemme know...

Kiss My Chaddhi - I

Kiss My Chaddhi - I

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Chaddhi may have some restricting definition but I am a man of equality and does not create boundaries and classification even in chaddhis. Oops forgot to tell you Chaddhi is something like short pants or shorts for short. Lets make a simple classification that any piece of cloth which reaches somewhere above or below the knees may be called chaddhi. This definition will allow more people in this united chaddhi world ; south Indians wearing it, raising their loongies to knee length or scots wearing skirts, the chaddhi without a partition

The political connection:

In India chaddhis are typically linked with Rashtriya Swayam Sevak Sanghs (RSS) who are followers of Hinduism and fight fundamentalist from other religion by becoming hindu fundamentalists. But thatâ€Â™s not our domain and no further comments about that. RSS people wear Khaki Chaddhis resembling Bermudas or their officials occasions like gathering, training, parades, etc. See the beauty , everybody irrespective of age, caste, class, financial status wearing the same chaddhi. Thatâ€Â™s why Chaddhi is the symbol of Unity in diversity of India. One thing I appreciate about RSS that they have not patented Chaddhi like some stupid American or European company. Chaddhi is what Chaddhi should be - free-flowing, open standard knowledge to be improved and shared. Chaddhi symbolizes free and fair trade.

Chaddhi in the Education & Society:

In school years Indian childrens wear chaddhis to the school, thatâ€Â™s why they seems to be so cutely united and linked with each other. But I believe that after Seventh standard they are asked to wear full length pants and give up chaddhis as they near the voting age of 18 they are brain-washed or chaddhi-washed to support other things in life like a pro-Hindu party or a pro-Muslim party, pro-Rich party or a pro-Poor party, pro-Capitalist party or a pro-Communist party.

Why cannot all the Hindu, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Socialist, Communists, Capitalists and all other XYZists and XYZism be united and tied like knot in the Nada of a Chaddhi. (Nada is the rope used as belt in chaddhi.)

United We Are Chaddhi, Divided We Are Torn Chaddhi. Lets protect our chaddhis.

With Chaddhi Regards,

Santy

World Peace & Chaddhi Envagelist

Coming Next : Chaddhi In Entertainment